HOME - Egg and Alfie in "Beach Days"
Hello. Welcome to our website. We are Egg and Alfie.
We are detectives. We live in Chicago. We solve crimes.
Check out ourCase Filesto catch up on what we've been up to.
Or, check out our othervideos.
Or, check back soon to hear our first podcast and see footage of our live episodes.
ABOUT - HOME
- ABOUT
- CASE FILES
- FEED
- Introduction
- Egg & Alfie "Sleep Over"
- Egg and Alfie go beekeeping
- SPOTTED: Egg & Alfie in WICKER PARK
- Egg and Alfie answer a series of questions!.dv
- What's the difference between a civilian and a detective?.dv
- What's with your office mate?.dv
Good afternoon:
My name is Detective Viola Egg and this is my partner Alfie.
We are private detectives for hire. We will solve any crime, anywhere, anytime. Unless it's too hard or too far away. Or if it's night time, and we'd perfer to be in bed early that evening. We also do birthday parties.
Here are some video tapes that will help answer questions you might have about hiring private detectives like me and Alfie.
-EGG
PS: Like us on Facebook and we might find room in our busy schedule to solve a crime for you for FREE.
- Introduction
- Egg & Alfie "Sleep Over"
- Egg and Alfie go beekeeping
- SPOTTED: Egg & Alfie in WICKER PARK
- Egg and Alfie answer a series of questions!.dv
- What's the difference between a civilian and a detective?.dv
- What's with your office mate?.dv
VIDEO TAPES_
CASE FILES Missed an episode? Here's a handy dandy guide of what went down, straight from my case files.
--EGG
- EPISODE 1
- EPISODE 2
- EPISODE 3
EPISODE 1 EPISODE 1:
Egg & Alfie and the case of the Flamingo's Tongue
A bunch of flamingos got stolen from the Lincoln Park zoo. I rescued them with the help of my new partner Alfie.
(I used to have this other partner Eagle, but he was a real piece of street scum tabby trash so I fired him. Also his sister and I were sweethearts but then she dumped me, but that's a different story.)
Anyway, Alfie was working as a zookeeper but he really wanted to be a detective, so I let him help out on the case. We got some help from my cop friend Debbie O'Malley, who led us to our perp: a crazy Polish butcher who was gonna cook the flamingos' tongues into soup. Alfie did a really good job getting the shotgun from the Butcher's brother so I decided to make him my partner. I think I made a good choice.
Also, I found out from my old flame Marguerite that the culprit who hired the Butcher to steal and cook the birds was none other than THE MAYOR. So that was crazy. But now I have a new archnemeisis! Yes!
Oh and also, case SOLVED.
"flamingo"
EPISODE 2 EPISODE 2:
Egg & Alfie and the Case of the Missing Movie Star
Me and Alfie went to a movie studio to play extras, but the movie people kept mistaking Alfie for French movie star Jean-Luc Obert (they look very similar). So Alfie and I went undercover to find out what happened to the real Jean-Luc. We didn't get very far when the police showed up, O’Malley and her new partner Alice Gurgle, the rottenest most corrupt piece of monkey trash I've ever met (we went to school together). These “police officers” kicked us out and said if we came back they'd revoke our detective license, so we left.
We went to see my friend Griffith at the Tribune photo desk. He had some photos of Jean-Luc having dinner with the Mayor (!), where they got in a big fight, then Jean-Luc met up with Sally, the best boy grip from the movie. So Alfie and I snuck back into the studio and cornered her. She confessed that she and Jean-Luc are actually French spies (!) here in Chicago to learn about the Mayor’s plan for a 3rd World’s Fair (!), but the Mayor threatened Jean-Luc’s life so now they’re leaving the country. (Jean-Luc had been hiding in a road case the whole time.) Alfie and I helped them sneak out of the building; Gurgle saw us but didn’t recognize Jean-Luc, phew. (But she did swear she'd get my license revoked, yikes.) At least I got Jean-Luc on the boat back to France. Case SOLVED.
"Alfie"
EPISODE 3 EPISODE 3:
Egg & Alfie GO ROGUE
That arsenic witch Alice Gurgle got our detective licenses revoked, so we decided to tail her and prove to the cops that’s she’s corrupt. We followed her to a weird orphanage in Ukrainian Village where we saw her receiving money from the orphanage owner. Nelson Milk was with us and got pictures of the whole thing, but he got shot when he went too close, and Gurgle got the camera. It was devastating. Milk is dead.
The next day my old flame Tatatyana (a high roller in the Russian mob) warned us to stay clear of the orphanage. We ignored her, went back anyway, and discovered that Gurgle is smuggling heroin from Russia in baby diapers. Alfie got the whole thing on video tape, but back at the office the sneaky adoption agent Felicia (who also turned out to be Gurgle sister!) stole the tape and ran off. Luckily, I had an idea.
Back at the orphanage: Tatatyana threatened Gurgle for not including the Russian mob in the heroin scheme, while me and Alfie recorded their conversation. I was ready to bust Gurgle right then and there, but our insanely gorgeous reporter friend Holly Endive convinced us to wait in the interest of catching the Mayor (Gurgle revealed that he’s involved too, obviously). So Gurgle remains at large, which I am not happy about. But at the very least, an Inspector from Internal Affairs agreed to get our license back. Phew. Case SOLVED.
"diapers"
"heroin"
CONTACT 
Contact us
Did you want more info about us? Or my opinons on Game of Thrones? (I have many.) Or some of Alfie's animal drawings? (He has some good ones.)
Contact us with your questions and things, and we will respond to you in due time. We might even make a video response, if you are lucky. And a good citizen. And if you Like us on Facebook.
Big crimes, big city.
-EGG
© Copyright 2012 Egg & Alfie
Here's a picture of a good archnemsis to keep you occupied until then.
(I don't have a good picture of my archnemesis THE MAYOR cause he's too sneaky. So this will have to do.)
